Tottenham forward Jermain Defoe has revealed he considered a move away from the club during the recent transfer window.
Defoe has struggled to hold down a regular starting role this season, with manager Harry Redknapp often opting to play one man up front, either Peter Crouch or Roman Pavlyuchenko, with Rafael van der Vaart in a supporting role.
And the 28-year-old admits he has grown increasingly frustrated at his lack of action.
Defoe told the Daily Mail: “It's been hard. You start to think: 'What am I doing here?' I'm used to playing in big games.”
They do not come any bigger than Wednesday’s Champions League showdown with Italian giants AC Milan, and Defoe is hoping his double in the weekend draw at Wolves will be enough to keep him in Redknapp’s starting XI.
The forward added: “It'll be a tough game (against Milan). I hope I'm playing and if I can score and win the game then it'll be great.
“But I remember playing against Charlton (in the FA Cup in January) and scoring two goals, then the next weekend I missed out.
“I was upset about that because once I start scoring I'm confident and I have the feeling I know I'll score in the next game. We played Manchester United and I thought, 'I'm playing', but I didn't start.
“I don't think the club would have allowed me to go on loan.
“But it was like when I decided to leave here and went to Portsmouth because I got to a situation where I thought: 'I'm not sitting on the bench.'”