Get Breaking Football News by email
We will never share your email address

Blackpool boss Ian Holloway to bring the colour

Football News Staff - 11 Aug 2010

Blackpool’s all tangerine kit will not be their most colourful contribution to the Premier League this season.

That will be manager Ian Holloway.

The likeable 47-year-old is well known for his wonderful one-liners and creative analogies, and Match of the Day will be all the better for them this year.

And to celebrate Holloway’s imminent arrival in the top flight of English football, here are some of his cracking comments:

"I love Blackpool. We're very similar. We both look better in the dark."

"To put it in gentleman's terms if you've been out for a night and you're looking for a young lady and you pull one, some weeks they're good looking and some weeks they're not the best. Our performance today would have been not the best looking bird but at least we got her in the taxi. She wasn't the best looking lady we ended up taking home but she was very pleasant and very nice, so thanks very much, let's have a coffee." – reflecting on an "ugly" victory.

“If you're a burglar, it's no good poncing about outside somebody's house, looking good with your swag bag ready. Just get in there, burgle them and come out. I don't advocate that obviously, it's just an analogy."

"I have such bad luck at the moment that if I fell in a barrel of boobs I'd come out sucking my thumb."

"When my wife first saw Marc for the first time, she said he was a fine specimen of a man. She says I have nothing to worry about, but I think she wants me to buy her a QPR shirt with his name on the back for Christmas." - on striker Marc Nygaard.

"We need a big, ugly defender. If we had one of them we'd have dealt with County's first goal by taking out the ball, the player and the first three rows of seats in the stands."

"Sir David Beckham? You're having a laugh. He's just a good footballer with a famous bird. Can you imagine if Posh was called Lady Beckham? We'd never hear the end of it!"

"It was a bit cheeky wasn't it? But I don't think it was that bad. It would have been worse if he'd turned round and dropped the front of his shorts instead. I don't think there's anything wrong with a couple of butt cheeks personally. If anybody's offended by seeing a backside, get real. Maybe they're just jealous that he's got a real nice tight one, with no cellulite or anything." - on Joey Barton mooning Everton fans.

"I don't see the problem with footballers taking their shirts off after scoring a goal? They enjoy it and the young ladies enjoy it too. I suppose thats one of the main reasons women come to football games, to see the young men take their shirts off. Of course they'd have to go and watch another game because my lads are as ugly as sin."

"In the first-half we were like the Dog and Duck, in the second-half we were like Real Madrid. We can't go on like that. At full-time I was at them like an irritated Jack Russell." – on a draw with Crystal Palace.






You might also be interested in:
Tags